Monday, November 1, 2010

Day One - Something you hate about yourself.

We all have things  we don't like about ourselves or even hate, seems natural right? We also have the power to change it.. anyway.. something that I hate about myself is needing/wanting to take on too much. It's not that I don't know how to say no - because I do - but I often think I can do it all. It's also a pride thing perhaps, its the lack of reaching out for help (especially when I may need it the most). I think it goes back to the days where the only person I could trust, count and lean on is ... well myself. I never bothered wanting someone else's help in matters.. I am smart.. I can figure it out. However, reality is that occasionally we do need others.. we need their wisdom, their shoulders, their hugs and their love and the emotional support and at times, we may even need a little bit of financial support. I think over the years, especially with my son's health and life at times in jeopardy I've learned to ask for emotional support, and while there is a financial struggle more often then not.. that is hard. I don't ask for help - I can do it - I can figure it out.. but the fact that I have a difficult time doesn't surprise me - but it is still something I am not very fond of when it comes to one of the things I hate about myself. And yet - I have a mind that allows me to figure it all out - but I must learn to ask when it seems difficult to reach in any capacity (emotionally or financially). Asking for help is not a sign of weakness - perhaps its more of a sign of strength - acknowledging that sometimes we just can't do on our own - acknowledging we are humans with (some) limitations.